So Philip and I were relaxing this evening after work, chatting, having some wine, and somehow the two of us ended up on Friendster’s website on a bet (it was to see how many Arab women have profiles on Friendster; I was pretty sure there were more than there actually were so I guess I was wrong). That’s not the important thing, though – on Friendster’s site, of course, you need to have an account to actually do anything. So on the account creation page, Friendster has the guts to cheekily ask if you have an email address, and offer “Breakthru.com” as the best, no-spam email provider.

Tired of spam, but like the idea of FREE email? With BreakThru.com, not only do you get started with a new email address, BreakThru.com blocks spam before it gets to your inbox – no matter how clever the spammers.

On BreakThru.com, there’s no junk in your inbox, because no junk gets through! All spam gets re-routed to a Filter folder! Sign up for FREE and check it out now!

I’m not entirely sure who they’re condescending to there, but I’m not sure that category of people even exists anymore. And even better – no spam? Ever? Gosh, I bet maybe, say, Google or Microsoft would love to buy that algorithm. How completely believable. Because this site was obviously a Friendster leech-site, I started looking for the catch for this amazing deal. I mean, there’s only so many time a site can pathetically scream out “FREE!” at you before you have to wonder when it’s going to ask for your money.

Well, nowhere on their laughably simple site was I able to find any measures of price, I found buried on their FAQ page one of the most laughable quotes I have ever read on the Internet.

5-whole-megabytes

Really? 5 Megabytes of FREE storage? Do you promise? Because I don’t know how I’ve managed to stay with Gmail for a year with 7 Gigabytes of storage. Or AOL before that with 2 Gigabytes. Or for crying out loud, even the original Hotmail back in 1998 with 200 Megabytes of storage.

I can’t even imagine what must happen when you somehow go through that huge amount of storage. Will they give me another 5? Will they ask for my credit card? I can’t even think of what might happen next.

Get off the internet, Breakthru. You’re an embarrassment to the 21st century.